Dear 50 year old me
I’m sorry for the way life treated you. We’ve had a lot of fun times together, but life did not turn out the way we thought it would. I’m grateful for the artwork I was able to do, for the adventures I was able to go on, And the people I got to enjoy. But I’m sorry my quest for more ruined it. I had always thought that if I tried to focus more and make myself focus surely I would find a career of some kind that would make me have a lot of money so that I could buy the house that we wanted. And that we could feel safe from those who would seek to destroy our way of life. Alas I never found those things. I never did find the love of my life who would reciprocate, though we hold no anger toward anyone for it. I thought whatever social issues I have, would have been dealt with by now. But it seems that I will just have to have whatever lacking social skills I have for the rest of my life. But it’s got us this far. We’ve had a long bucket list of accomplishments but never did feel right completely. Whatever that desire of the soul longs for it did not fill. Remove
It is my sincerest wish as you take whatever life you have and for the rest of it find your peace with God. That whatever strength he decides to lend you that becomes enough. There’s a guy relying on the strength of others has always been a weakness of yours. I would encourage you to trust God perhaps better than I currently do. We both know that currently I would say if I had a wife, that they could do what they wanted as long as it made them happy and that they were with me. Perhaps that’s what God was doing all along saying the same thing to me. There is no part of my story that will outlast my life, unless God himself allows it. But it does seem to me that in today’s society, we do not want things to Stay as they are but require constant change therefore anything it seems we build we’ll just be destroyed fairly quickly for the sake of progress. I hope you have made your peace with that by now.
Forgive me now for the choices that I have made, I hope they have made a difference for the best.
Nomad
Narrative-Nomad 